If you want a good relationship and get any result from the interaction, the negative opinions should be left to themselves. Others including lexis nexis, offer their opinions as well. The situation in communication composed as follows: My communication is between: I am with my opinion of myself and I am with my opinion of him, his communication is between: He and his opinion of himself and he and his opinion of me. If my self-esteem is adequate, I do not the need to humiliate the other, most likely my opinion of him will be adequate. If my self-esteem is too high or too low – the other is likely to be the sign "-" or "+" (inadequate perception – all around the freaks and fools, or what a clever, cute, rich, not that I am, etc.). Accordingly, the perception of others depend on me, his self-esteem. It turns out that inadequate self-esteem I'm talking quietly to himself, and he accordingly as well.
And this distorted reality perceived by us as a given. My teacher once said: "Listen not what they say, listen to what they say no." This is only possible with adequate self-esteem, because in analyzing the situation communication is always that a person has an opinion which he expressed, another reserve and another one just in case. We all like dolls have a lot more than 1-2 layers. And sometimes very useful to myself to make out the layers and can help deal with self-esteem. Well-known formula of James W.: Self-esteem = Success / Claims. In other words, self-esteem can be improved by increasing the level of either success or reducing claims. How? For example, I do not mind imagine a situational picture of my success with big money and fame, but really knowing myself, I have long been perfectly aware that I do not have any desire to deal with the consequences of such a "success." I do not want that the level of hypocrisy and lies that surrounds the oligarchs do not want people around who can be trusted, do not want to lose their friends and the opportunity to live the way I like it and most of the time to do what I want.
Therefore, the level My claim is almost fits my lifestyle. Well, the money would be more, but this desire, as you know, do not change with income. More and better about the phenomenon of self-esteem you can read for those who have studied or read, I – y EV Guilbaud, W. Shutts, K. Rogers, Maslow, B. Levy. I wrote so much to the fact that self-assessment tool, it lends itself lubricated and regulated. And the more honest and we work with own self-esteem, the more interesting it becomes and the world around them.